‘I went to a sexy fashion show in a church – it was heaven for vain influencers’

It’s a Saturday night in London and a gaggle of gorgeous 20-something women have formed, sipping on berry decorated gins, lime topped tequila sodas all while basking in the light of their iPhone camera flashes.

We’re not in some swanky club in the capital – but, you’d easily be forgiven for thinking that was the case. Instead, we’re in a church teeming with influencers creating a sea of slicked back buns draped in the Oh Polly ‘New In’ page.

For a moment I had to check I wasn’t experiencing temporary amnesia caused by the portable ring lights penetrating my cornea at every moment. But no, frontal lobe still in tact and very much so in God’s house.

READ MORE: ‘I bought mystery Morrisons Too Good To Go bag for £2.50 – and giggled at item inside’

Check out more Exclusive Daily Star stories

What on earth is going on, you ask? Well, it’s the Oh Polly Fashion Show christening London Fashion Week with a glitzy knees-up at St John’s Hyde Park, of course.

For one night only, the online fashion brand boasting a “social-first” business model invited an army of influencers to share an exclusive sneak peak of their Spring collection in the place of worship known for Catholicism and more recently, catwalks.

If I were to put an image next to the definition of ‘juxtaposition’ in the Oxford dictionary, it would be this. The religious imagery and posters for Lent Carols lined the walls amongst a line of influencers – or content creators – eagerly queuing to get their Instagrammable snap (or 20) underneath the clothing brand’s logo.

I’m sure Jesus didn’t have this in mind, but maybe he could have been clearer on what to worship – though I’m sure it’s not vanity or online fashion brands.

No one is getting down on their hands and knees for God tonight, but Oh Polly sure has a religious following thanks to their hourglass accentuating dresses and lucrative brand deals with influencers and ex-Love Islanders galore. It’s what helped the brand secure cult status amongst the glamour pusses of today.

Speaking of Love Islanders, they got Maura Higgins to advertise a dress from their newest collection. The brunette reality star, presenter and model really is what she says on the tin – the full package.

And the unreleased gown “exclusively designed in-house at Oh Polly’s London atelier” adorned with glitterball-esque mirrored embellishments certainly put the proof into the pudding for the above. While Maura dazzled in the strapless dress and perched herself front row, influencers continued to stand in succession waiting to capture their best angle – it’s not their first rodeo doing so.

For those not needing a photoshoot or to capture content for their baying followers, the bar it was. Now Jesus famously turned 120 gallons of water into wine, though it looks like Whitley Neill Gin will have to do for this for this modern day passage.

The pop-up bar lined with purple and red bottles of the rhubarb and ginger and raspberry flavours of the spirit stood parallel to the photo snapping hotspot. As I sipped on one of the fruity drinks myself, I sniggered remembering that I am in fact in a church with influencers and reality stars with enough collective followers to probably start up their own mainstream religion.

Just after 8:00pm, an hour after arrival, guests were quickly ushered to seats or stood either side of the nave masked as a runway. This took a short while to get everyone to take their phone cameras pointing away from themselves and towards the cream decorated ‘catwalk’.

The music then kicked in and the opening long pinned model with glowing skin graced the runway, strutting her stuff as all eyes were on someone else for the first time this evening. She rocked the unreleased dress also worn by Maura, where other models followed with similar versions of the attire.

For the 10-15 minute show, a wave of phones consumed the audience with bobbing heads eager to get a glimpse between devices and church pillars. The collection included puffball mini dresses, custom-developed floral-appliqué styles and intricate hand-embellished designs that could not only be seen on a catwalk, but in an actual upmarket bar in London on a Saturday night.

Soon, the much-anticipated show was over and the room – likely the most beautiful one in the UK that evening – was back to photo taking and tequila soda slurping.

In the most ironic way possible – and for the purpose of this story – I had to whip out my blacked out glasses and sit on one of the foldable chairs as if I was part of the fashion hoo-ha. Which caused presumably stares of mockery, yet a source of inspiration for others.

Have I now become the influencer?

It’s undeniable that Oh Polly have some gorgeous clothing in their collections. They seem to know their audience well, how trends manoeuvre on social media and how to replicate them for the clothes hanger.

The influencer fanfare is easy to get distracted by and feels inauthentic at the best of times, but even stripping away the ring lights and paid posts Oh Polly have another hit spring summer collection on their hands. Maybe they’ve even got God on their side, he might be a fan of puff-ball dresses and split hems after all.

At just before 21:30, the lights began to go out and the hoards of guests were herded out to let their shiny embellished dresses glisten in the street lamps and taxi light glares. Some were still trying to sneak a few last pictures in, me too as I didn’t quite manage to score a snap earlier myself.

“No more pictures,” bellowed one of the staff members. Influencer I am not then.

And in the words of the most notorious fictitious fashion diva, Miranda Priestly, that’s all.